Easter

We had such a lovely Easter beginning with the dying of the easter eggs. Then going to church and finally moving on to my grandparents house. This was all the more special this year because as a family we had not been together since before Thanksgiving. You have to understand that we are an extremely close family and are always getting together. Secondly, it was special because we were able to spend it with Grandma. We really did not know if we were going to have Grandma around this year, but Praise the Lord!! she made it through the stem cell transplant. We are still awaiting results on whether or not it really worked. In my book, it did, Grandma looks awesome - better than I have seen her in a long time. Anyway, here are the pics from the day.



The stinker with his hands dying to get in the dye :)


Getting ready to put the egg in.


Eggs dying.



So proud of what he has done.



The two of us.

Three Years and Counting . . .

So, this idea started about three months ago, when I was asked by my former school to share a testimony. I debated whether or not to actually publish on facebook the note that I had written up and I was strongly encouraged to share it with everyone. Thanks Sarah Totta!!!

I am not sure why this year above all other years has meant so much to me, but I cannot get over the fact that three years ago, life happened. Three years ago in February, I found out I was pregnant and the father of the baby was not my husband nor was I married. Of course, to me there was absolutely no choice in the matter, I was keeping the baby no matter what. Before leaving me, the father desperately asked me to keep the baby and raise it as my own. I must admit, I have always wanted children so when I found I was pregnant there was no other option but to keep the baby.

I chose to have my child, keep my child, and raise my child on my own. I began taking the steps down a path of uncertainty. I was nervous, scared, anxious, and excited. My precious son, Jayce, arrived on October 14, 2005. It was at this point that the real journey began.

When I got pregnant, I lost so much more. I lost all trust that my parents had in me. Please remember that trust is not easy to hand out – once you have broken that trust it takes years to repair.

I lost my chance to be young. Having the responsibilities of a child cause you to grow up rather fast. I was no longer free to live life the way young adults do. I was unable to go out when friends call me up wanting to go to the mall or out to eat. Not to mention shopping on a whim for new clothes, shoes, or the perfect purse no longer happens. Money is now going to pay for diapers, juice, milk, food, clothes, and shoes.

I now have a constant companion who is with me 24/7. Sleep – what is that? Even at two years old my son struggles to sleep through the night at times. Please don’t get me wrong, I am not angry or mad because of my life I just want to warn you of ALL the consequences that come with decisions we make or at least make you think about the consequences.

I would have never made it as far as I have if it hadn’t been for the grace of our Lord. Knowing that all I needed was His forgiveness helped me to return to my life walk with him. The Lord brought me to the position that I am currently at. The path I chose was not the easiest nor was it the best. I would never suggest to anyone to play with the temptations that I played with, which in turn led me down this path. However, I have to say my path has changed me in ways I never imagined. It opened me up and showed me who I was. The path broke me to become who I am today, which is a far better person than who I was three years ago. No, I am not perfect, I still make huge mistakes but I am by far the person I was three years ago.

Second, I would have never made it as far as I have made it if it hadn’t been for my family. My mom and dad so lovingly and graciously have allowed Jayce and I to live with them these past two years. This is not easy, having two families in one household, but we have learned to make it work. My brothers have been loving uncles to Jayce as well as my sister-in-law being a loving aunt. They truly adore Jayce and Jayce definitely enjoys Joe, Jon, Da, and Ju.

Third, I have to say that my friends have helped me to make it this far as well. When I was pregnant and getting my life right with the Lord, I began to worry about the fact that Jayce’s father is not going to be there to help raise and support him. I was more worried for Jayce’s sake rather than my own. I knew as a boy and soon a young man, he was going to need that male role model/leadership in his life. Two years later, Jayce has several male role models that he just adores. The Lord has over and abundantly answered that request.

The night after I was asked to share a testimony, I sat rocking Jayce to sleep just thinking. I thought back to three years ago when I originally found out I was pregnant. I remembered sitting in the driver seat of my car in the middle of the night filled with emotions: stunned, excited, nervous, anxious, and scared. I did not know how we were going to survive?

Then I remembered the night that Jayce’s dad and I discussed our options. We both agreed that we were the ones who had made the wrong decisions and not Jayce. I remembered his dad saying, “Why should we make the child pay for something it has not done?” Then I remembered the day one of the co-workers recommended I go have it taken care of. Two years later, I sat looking at the handsome face of my little boy thinking – what would my life be like if I had followed my co-workers words?

So many teenagers and young adults find themselves in the situation I was in and make an immediate decision they later regret. They do not think about the joys the child within them will bring, they only think about the burden. My life has been so blessed by my son. Yes, we have our struggles, but the blessings far out way the struggles.