Life

You ever wonder why life takes the roads it takes, or why we make the decisions that we make? I do every day. Everyone says that the Lord knows exactly the plans for our lives, but sometimes I wonder if we mess those plans up? While I know the decision I made is not messing up plans, I often sit back and wonder or am amazed at how far I have come. Life is so full of complications, roller coasters, and road maps that there really is not one manual that will ever get you through it.

Two years ago, I began considering the possibility of moving to Phoenix, AZ. At that time, I looked at houses to purchase, jobs to get, and schools for Jayce. The door was clearly shut when no opportunities presented itself. Yet, that thought of moving never left my mind. Exactly two years later, I finally packed up and move to Phoenix, AZ. I made my final decision the first of January and moved the middle of February. Doors were not shutting, but opening. However, it seems that now that we are here, doors are shutting. While I know this is not true and it is just trials and testings, and I need to make it through the rough times, I am struggling on depending on God. I know that in the end, these tests that I am experiencing are going to make me a better person afterwards than I was before.

Given all this, how does one continue to depend upon a God we cannot see? Honestly, I don't even have an answer for that and each person has to find him or her true self when seeking these answers. One person's answer is not good for another person. All I can say is that this move has made me more confident than before. I am searching for who God truly is, what is he truly to me, and why do I truly believe in him.

I had not stepped foot in a church in over two months until this last Sunday. I did not even go to church for worship and a time of learning for almost four months until this last Sunday. I attended a church and for the first time in months felt my heart swell at the worship with the Lord. For the first time in months, I felt the Lord speak to me, not only through worship but also through the challenge. How is it that we allow ourselves to become deadened to worship and the Lord? I still do not know. This does not mean that I know exactly where I am at in my life with God, but it does prove to me that there is a God out there who cares.

Now, about our lives. Jayce and I are for the most part, happily living in Tempe, Arizona. This has been a vast difference to Kansas City, Missouri. We are slowly finding our way around the towns and getting to know the area. Ironically, we have been here for a little over a month and have yet to drive into Phoenix and check out that area. Tempe is much like Independence to Kansas City for those back home.

I have had the wonderful privelege of staying home with Jayce, but am ready to start working again. Just as Jayce is ready to go back to school. I am praying that the right job comes along for me to take. Although, at this point, any job will work for me.

It has been nearly a year since I have updated my blog, but I felt with the move and people not being able to be in contact constantly, that I would work on updating the blog more often. I will post pictures as we get them to share with everyone.